Movie Review: Man of Steel

I
AM
SU-PER-MAN!
Buddah, buddah, bu, bu, bu, BU, bu...
Wait, wait, wait!
That's not right.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 143 min
Director: Zack Snyder
Stars: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams

To tell you the truth I haven't even heard the Super Man song.
At least I'm not totally clueless.
I know Iron Man, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Indiana Jones and maybe others.
But that doesn't really matter now.
So before I get into the review, I came into this movie knowing a couple of things.
First of all, I knew that Zack Snyder was the director.
I also knew/know that Zack Snyder has a funny way of doing things.
When I saw 300 I enjoyed it but thought it was a little silly and cartoony.
But then I saw Watchmen.
I loved Watchmen.
So walking into the theater I was so excited for the movie.
And you don't even know how excited I am for the sequel to 300, even though Zack Snyder isn't directing it.
And also Christopher Nolan was producing it.
Almost everyone loves Christopher Nolan besides people with bad taste.
How could you not?
He directed the Dark Knight trilogy, Inception and others.
So what was the plot in the movie?
SUPERMAN COMES TO THE RESCUE TO FIGHT THE EVIL GENERAL ZOD!!!!
It's not exactly like that, but the general point is Super Man vs Zod.
So what was good?
First of all, I loved Michael Shannon.
I thought that he did an amazing job as Zod and was really bringing it to the screen.
One moment I really liked of his was actually in the trailer when he says, "I WILL FIND HIM!!!"
SOOOO BOSS!!!
Anyhow, other than Zod, the action was awesome.
There are so many cool action scenes!
Superman's flying through the air blowing Zod through a million buildings!
It's really awesome.
I also seemed to like the structure of the movie.
In the trailer you see so many moments of Super Man young, and the truth is, that doesn't even happen in the movie!
It's only in flash backs!
And the CGI was also very well done.
A lot of action and KABOOM'S everywhere that looked very realistic.
The ending was also good.
What I mean is not the dramatic feel good ending, but the ending to all the action sequences.
And a funny perk that was in the movie was that some things like for example barrels had the Lex Corp symbol on it.
So we're looking into a sequel, possibly with Lex Luthor.
So what wasn't good?
First of all, I thought that some moments were just proposed badly to me.
Every time, right before Super Man is about to take flight, he puts on this face that make him look so stupid.
I also thought that the character of Superman was just too... fake.
My evidence for that is, he's never flown before.
He tries once and fails.
The second time he's circling the world.
I felt like I needed to see him evolve more than once trying to fly.
Also when he figures out more about his planet and real family and stuff like that, I thought it was kind of dull.
Like he was getting all this really personal knowledge and all he did was "Ok, I am now Super Man."
Once again I felt like his character needed to evolve some more.
SPOILER ALERT
And after doing no fighting in his life he can take down this one guy with the same powers as him, who is also like head of the military for Krypton or something!
END OF SPOILER
Now that's just fake.
So all in all, the movie was good even though I wanted more from the movie and Super Man in general.
Score=7.5

Movie Review: Now You See Me

Once upon a time there was a movie called The Amazing Burt Wonderstone.
Everyone hated it, or didn't like it as much.
But I really liked it!
I loved it because it was a magic movie.
And I love magic movies.
Oh hold on, what's this?
A movie called Now You See Me!
And it's about magic!
Well I'm off to the theaters to see how this one does!

Rating: PG-13
Time: 115 min
Director: Louis Leterrier
Stars: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo

I'M BACK!
And by the way, even I've got to admit that was one weird intro I just did.
So anyways before we get into the review and talking a little about it before, can I just say that I have just hit my 15,000th viewer today.
I hope to hit a least 16,000 by the end of the year.
But anyways now let's talk about the movie.
First of all, this movie has so many other famous actors other than Eisenberg and Ruffalo.
It also has Isla Fisher, Woody Harrelson, Dave Franco, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, a new french actress who was also in Inglorious Basterds and not many others.
So with so many great actors, a plot with MAGIC and much more you would expect a good movie right?
Well the only thing that could possibly go wrong is if they ruin the magic and make all the characters uninteresting.
So did they?
Did director Louis Leterrier do that to this movie?
Maybe, you'll just have to read and find out.
Also before the review let me mention that this movie is its first and right when the trailer came out, I was in love.
I was hoping to see this movie for such a long time and finally I am satisfied!
But only because I saw it.
Anyhow, let's get to the review.
So the plot is that there are these magicians that rob a bank in one of their shows.
Right after that a lot more happens and it gets complicated and BOOM!
We have our movie!
So what was actually good.
First of all the characters were good.
They were unique and awesome in their own way.
Like Woody Harrelson who supposedly is a hypnotist.
Also what was good were the special effects.
In the last magic scene there were so many effects that made the movie look really good.
I also liked the magic tricks they did.
In the beginning of the movie they show a clip of each magician doing a little bit of magic and I've just got to admit that Isla Fishers one was pretty awesome.
The action was better than expected.
There's a really cool scene between Dave Franco and Mark Ruffalo.
Another thing that I liked about the movie that some others did or didn't was I liked the ending.
The twist at the ending I thought was dumb until they explained it.
When they did explain it, I thought it was smart and I liked it.
So what wasn't good?
First of all, in the mix of all this awesomeness there's a stupid love story going on.
Mark Ruffalo and the french girl have a thing and no one came to see it.
We came to see magic and awesomeness, so whenever they're on screen together it's my moment to go to the bathroom.
Also, before I said that only two things could ruin the movie; bad characters and ruining of magic.
The characters were fine, but the magic... not so much.
What I love about magic is the mystery of how the magicians did it.
In this movie they tell you how they do the trick and personally for me that ruined it.
It made the magic worse.
And for one in my life time I hated Morgan Freeman.
He was such bragger and mean guy, trying to spoil the magic and always claiming he was one step ahead of everyone.
Whenever he was on screen I hated the movie.
Others won't say that but it was bugging me so I did.
Anyhow, the movie was a good time with only some flaws.
All in all, you need to see this movie, but if you're bored you should.
Score=5.5

Movie Review: Epic

I am ashamed of myself.
I saw this movie May 25th and writing this review now.
I'm not EPIC.
But that doesn't matter.
What matters is EPIC!!
SO WAS IT EPIC?
IT SURE HAD THE GUTS TO CALL ITSELF THAT!
LETS SEE IF IT LIVED UP TO ITS NAME!!
NEXT ON...

Rating: PG
Time: 102 min
Director: Chris Wedge
Stars: Colin Farrell, Josh Hutcherson

Why was this movie named Epic?
I don't know why it called itself Epic.
You have to be a really good movie to call yourself Epic.
If I could've called a movie Epic, it would be like Attack the Block or The Dark Knight, ect.
But this movie believed in itself and decided to go with the name Epic.
It must've been too proud of itself because if I named it, it would be called Regular.
But of course it went with the name Epic.
I have nothing else to mention.
I always try to make the beginning part of my reviews long so that my review in general is long, but I really have nothing else to say.
SO LET'S GET TO THE REVIEW!!
The plot is pretty straight forward in the movie, you have the evil bad guy who wants to destroy the forest and then this normal girl turns small and has to stop him.
It's really that simple.
Now before I get into what was good, I have to say this movie was pretty normal.
It was a basic tale so instead of what was good, I'm gonna do what was normal.
So what was normal?
You have that same tale where the chosen one has to stop the evil villain.
You have all these amazing celebrities in the movie which was good.
And there were some funny chuckles in there.
The character I liked most was Aziz Ansari.
He was the fat funny slug in the movie.
I didn't know he was going to be the slug until I saw the movie, so when I saw the trailer, I thought he was a girl.
I don't know why, but his only line in the trailer is "HEY BABY GIRL" and it sounded like a woman was saying it.
The other characters were normal.
The princess, the general, the bad guy, the rebel, the crack ups, the girl who just wants to go home and her psychopath father.
All pretty normal.
So what wasn't good in the movie?
First of all this movie was SO PREDICTABLE!
Since the movie had a very old formula it was so obvious what was going to happen.
I also thought that at some moments it got to silly for it to be true.
And I know that the movie was supposed to be for kids, but sometimes it just crossed the line.
Also I felt like that some parts of the movie didn't really matter at all.
Actually I didn't eve know what the point was of Pitbull int the movie.
I felt like the movie could have done the things that he did in the movie in a different way.
So all in all, the movie had a really old formula that was super predictable.
It was fun sometimes but it wasn't anything new or worth seeing.
Score=4.5

Movie Review: The Hangover Part III

The term "Hangover" means something.
It specifically means, disagreeable physical effects following heavy consumption of alcohol or the use of drugs.
So when you make a movie called The Hangover, the main plot should be a hangover.
HINT: This movie does not have a hangover.
The other two did have a hangover.
I think this should've been a spin off called No Hangover.
That probably would've been more clear.

Rating: R
Time: 100 min
Director: Todd Phillips
Stars: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms

No but seriously, this movie doesn't have a hangover.
So anyways before I start to review I want to talk about something.
I know that a lot of people are hating on this movie.
They say it's bad.
They don't like it.
Well the truth is that this movie is sort of cornered into a trap.
For big serious reviewers and serious Hangover fans, you're going to have a problem with this movie.
When the first movie came out everyone loved it!
It was new, funny and SO GOOD!
Then the second one came out.
This is where it gets complicated.
People said that the second movie was a less funny repeat of the first movie.
But I would bet that if the second movie came out before the first one, people would have loved it as much as they loved the first.
Because it was new and unique.
Well that's where this movie was trapped.
If the third had been a hangover similar to the second and first, people would have been mad because there was nothing new and it was a less funny version of the first. (Like they said about the second one.)
But if it did what it did by not having a hangover at all and taking a new risk and a different approach then people would also be mad.
People are saying that this movie lost all of the greatness and uniqueness of the first and didn't even deserve its title.
And as you have just realized, there's no great anything for 50% of the people who watched this movie.
It's impossible for them!
Well I don't understand why other reviewers have to be so hard.
This movie was funny.
I liked it.
And those reviewers, they take everything so personally!
They seriously need to sit down and enjoy a movie for once in their life time.
I watch movies because I like too.
They watch movies because they like to complain.
There are still some reviewers that are cool.
But while I am writing this, there's one person I'm thinking of in general...
But he doesn't matter.
So let's get to the review!
The plot in this movie is that Chow steals millions of dollars from John Goodman, so Goodman kidnaps Justin Bartha and threatens to kill him unless the wolf-pack gets him Chow and his stolen money. 
So what was good in the movie?
Well as most of you must expect, it was really funny. 
It made me laugh a lot so I thought that it was really funny even though some others did not...
I loved this movie because of all the wild situations they get into.
I know it happens in all of the movies, but I love the whole time!
Also, I can say that this was a movie where I could just relax, watch and laugh.
It made me not worry about all the worries that I'm having, it made me enjoy the moment of which I was in.
I haven't seen a movie that took away all my worries, that I didn't have to think about and that I could just relax while watching and still have a good time in a really long time!
Last year a lot of comedies came out, some examples I have seen are "The Dictator", "Ted" and "21 Jump Street".
But none of those movies made feel as good and relaxed as this one did.
So in the end I can't really say that this movie was bad even though it had its flaws.
So what were those flaws?
First of all it seemed to me that some of the actors were sort of sleep walking during the film.
It seemed like they weren't very active or into what they were doing at all.
Also I thought that the movie was a little too off track at moments.
Sort of like it only did things for the money or the reference back to the old movies or something like that.
I'll give an example, this isn't a spoiler but if you're really annoyed by these things then you might not want to read this.
I don't know why not but I guess if that's you then that's you.
But it will be a spoiler for the first movie.
So the stripper that marries Ed Helms from the first movie is back.
She's only in the movie for a couple of minutes.
She's pretty much only in the movie for the reference to the first.
That's it.
End of sort-of-spoiler.
Anyhow, that's all for my review!
I think that the movie was funny and made me have such a great time!
If you can see it, see it.
Score=7.0

Movie Review: Star Trek Into Darkness

A lot of people are comparing this movie to the first.
Actually the reason some of it is bad is because people think it sometimes repeats from the first.
I will tell you that I have seen the first movie.
But since it was a long time ago and I wasn't into movies and I was young and dumb, I can't really remember it.
So this is not a comparison review.
So the movie was better.
Thanks to my bad memory.
And my young child mind that only cared for the booms.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 132 min
Director: J. J. Abrams
Stars: Chris Pine, Benedict Cumberbatch

Remember the movie that I reviewed before this?
Pain & Gain?
Remember how I said it was awesome that I got to see one of the characters of one of my favorite TV shows in a movie with a whole different personality.
Remember how I said how much that movie sucked.
Well same deal here, minus the sucking.
I got to see the star that I love from the show Sherlock come onto the big screen to play the villain in an awesome movie.
Benedict Cumberbatch is awesome.
And now I get to see him return after a nail-biting cliffhanger that they gave to me at the end of Sherlock season two.
BTW I recommend that everyone see that show because it is awesome.
It's so good and smart and I LOVE IT!
But this is not a review about that.
This is a review of Star Trek Into Darkness.
Oh and also by the way, this movie does have twists, but since I don't almost anything about Star Trek, some of them I didn't get.
But some others I did get because they were normal twists, and not ones that related to the original Star Trek.
Sometimes twists can be good or bad.
This movie had decent ones but some were predictable.
But in Iron Man 3 for example, I never saw that one twist coming and it was so bad and it completely ruined the entire movie for me.
BUT LET'S GET TO THE REVIEW!!!
So the plot in this film is that there's this criminal somewhere and the Star Trek people have to go and bring him to justice.
And then other stuff happens as well.
But if I mentioned them I would spoil the movie.
Anyways let's get straight to the review.
So what was good in this movie?
I LOVED BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!!!
He did amazing acting and was perfectly chosen for his role.
He stole every scene he was in and made everything much more interesting in the movie.
Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto were also fine and everybody was good!
Not amazing, but good.
The reason they probably weren't amazing was because they had to share the spotlight with Benedict Cumberbatch.
The only other two people worth mentioning besides BC (Benedict Cumberbatch is now BC because it's easier to type) was Shaun of the Dead as Scotty and RoboCop as somebody who's name I don't remember.
But other then the people there were other things that were good.
The action was good.
Actually really liked the action because it's all space and awesome which is much more different then what I have seen so far this year.
I liked the dialogue.
It sucked me into the story and the movie more.
And also there was something that J. J. Abrams did in this movie that was unique.
He put all these cool film shots with lens flares which was really awesome.
And the graphic effects in this movie were also fantastic!
Everything seemed real and not fake or anything like that.
But anyways that's all the good stuff about the movie.
BTW, I have just realized now how much I use the word anyways.
ANYHOW... what was bad in this movie?
First of all I thought that the plot in moments was unsure of itself.
It got a little complicated and I think that the movie didn't handle those complicated moments as well as they should have.
Also I thought that there was too many parts in the movie where it was too slow.
It was lagging and I just wanted it to keep on moving.
But other then those two things I think that the movie was really good.
I recommend everyone to see it unless you're super against one of the actors or the director or maybe even the genre!
I can't wait to see what J. J. Abrams does with Star Wars.
Score=9.0 (I promised myself no weird decimals! If I didn't though it would probably be a 8.75)

Movie Review: Pain & Gain

To tell you the truth I was actually excited to see this movie.
But I shouldn't have been.
I was excited to see Mark Wahlberg and even more Tony Shalhoub.
But I guess I never learned.
NO MATTER HOW AWESOME THE ACTORS ARE, DON'T EVER TRUST MICHAEL BAY!
He's basically the devil of movies.

Rating: R
Time: 129 min
Director: Michael Bay
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Tony Shalhoub

Now you know what's awesome?
When you watch this show and you really enjoy it!
Like one of your favorites!
But unfortunately the person you like most in the show is never getting any other acting roles but that show.
Well finally he got a role!
I've seen every single episode of the tv series Monk and LOVED IT!!
And I couldn't wait to see him actually be the bad guy in a movie!
A really paranoid nice detective to a mean old grumpy cursing guy who gets tortured!
WHAT FUN!
And for Mark Wahlberg, I love Mark Wahlberg.
He's in a million roles but I just like him a lot!
BUT MICHAEL BAY!!!
THAT GUY SUCKS!!
Also in this movie is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
I hate him, but the truth is that he's been in a million roles this year.
And he is getting better.
But he's still bad as well.
Also Anthony Mackie.
I don't know much about him.
But anyways let's start the review!
AND REMEMBER!
THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
So the plot in this film is that there's this guy who hates where his life is going and wants more.
So him, The Rock, Mackie kidnap and torture Shalhoub for his money and valuables.
So what was good in this movie.
Ed Helms was in this movie.
Ed Helms was the best thing to me in this movie.
Tony Shalhoub was in there too but he was only mediocre.
NOT THAT GREAT.
The action in moments was good.
But also, NOT THAT GREAT.
Oh and then there's the movie in all.
NOT THAT GREAT.
But let's get to what was bad in the movie.
First of all this is a true story.
So think of that while I'll tell you this.
Who is the bad guy here, the three guys who kidnap, torture and kill or the people who get kidnapped, tortured and killed.
All this proves that Michael Bay is a terrible person.
Michael bay made the movie as if you are routing for the bad guys.
BUT EVEN WORSE, THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!
You don't care about the characters.
You don't care when they pain and you most definitely don't care when they gain.
And you know what, not only do you not care about the characters, you hate them!
The good guys are terrible people and so are the bad guys!
Also the plot in this movie was terrible!
It was confusing and mixed up and had no idea what it was doing.
The humor was bad and unfunny.
It also had very bad timing.
The movie was too long for itself and should've only been an hour and a half, not two.
But all in all the movie was super unenjoyable and dumb.
I hated it!
I HATED IT!
IT SUCKED!!!
I HATED IT!
Don't see this movie.
Even an idiot is smart enough to realize how bad this movie was.
Score=2.5

Movie Review: The Great Gatsby

The book was amazing.
IT WAS AMAZING!
Some people call it the best book of all time.
So when you turn it into a movie you better make it good or it might make some people really mad.
So did Baz Luhrmann disappoint me or please me?
(I really hate doing this but...) FIND OUT NEXT ON XZOOMZ!!!!
That didn't feel good.
UGH!

Rating: PG-13
Time: 143 min
Director: Baz Luhrmann
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire

So I have heard that there are mixed opinions about Baz Luhrmann.
I have heard that his movies are amazing and that his movies are terrible.
He has made things like Moulin Rouge and this weird Romeo and Juliet movie.
I have also heard opinions about this movie and have also heard mixed opinions.
Some really like the movie and... some not so much.
Anyways this is now an entirely different discussion:
I've read the book and I can be partly fair but not 100%.
Some people read the book long before and had their own idea of Gatsby and others.
But I read the book because everyone said it was amazing and I wanted to read the book so I could truely feel the movie.
But I only read it one week before!
I had already seen all the trailers and I had my own ideas of the characters while I was reading it.
So I can't really say that Leonardo DiCaprio or Tobey Maguire or Joel Edgerton or Carey Mulligan were cast badly because they were the people I had in mind when I was reading the book.
But anyways I guess I can pair my perspective of what the characters were like in the movie with what I felt the characters were in the book.
So yes, yes, this is going to be a comparison review.
And like Baz Luhrmann, so people will like it, some people won't.
But anyways let's get to the review!
So the plot in this movie is from the perspective of Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire) and he just moved to this tiny little house but his neighbor owns a much bigger one and he's much more rich.
He has parties at night his neighbor and is always lurking around.
This neighbor is Jay Gatsby.
And soon enough Gatsby starts to get involved in all this trouble with his true love and her husband. (UH OH!)
And who's in the middle of all of it?
Nick Carraway.
And this is his perspective of the story.
So what was good in this film?
First of all can I say that this movie had one of the best soundtracks ever!
I've heard that Baz (I'm gonna call him Baz now, it's easier) is amazing in his movies with his soundtracks.
Jay-Z, Beyonce, Lana Del Rey and even one by Fergie.
But what my point is about this soundtrack is that it was great!
I loved how even though the movie is based in the 1920's but they still use music from this generation.
Also I thought that the big views and colors was great.
I also know that Baz does that.
I like it, it was more intriguing and especially in a drama.
And the acting was great.
Leo is always good.
In the book I thought he would be a little more serious though.
This movie, he was serious but it wasn't realistic as I felt in the book.
Tobey Maguire was good.
I don't really have any thoughts about Tobey in the movie because in the book I felt that Tobey's character was only there to narrate the story and didn't really serve any grand purpose.
But the one person who gave me more of a surprise then anyone else in the movie was Carey Mulligan!
I thought that she would be all shy and quiet in the movie.
But in the movie she's confident and stronger then I thought she would be.
The thing that I enjoyed most about her was her accent in the movie.
It was awesome.
Joel Edgerton was also outstanding!
I got everything I expected from him and he was amazing.
So what was bad about the movie.
I'll tell you not much.
I thought that the whole movie was green screen.
It was so obvious that it was green screen when it was and I also thought that they used it to much.
I thought that the movie was a little too long.
I also thought that the movie was partly slow in moments.
But not most of the time.
So all in all the movie was really enjoyable with great acting,
music and effects.
This is a definite see.
Score=8.0
Finally we start getting decent summer movies!
Iron Man...