Movie Review: A Good Day to Die Hard

Hello everybody and happy reading!
First off I want to congratulate Seth MacFarlane for hosting a super awesome funny Oscars!
Much, much better then Anne Hatheway and that other person she was hosting with.
HE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF!!!
But anyways let's get back and review whatever the hack this is supposed to be!

Rating: R
Time: 98 min
Stars: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney

Before we start the review let me just give you a tiny little miniature review of all the Die Hard's.
Die Hard: AWESOME, ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME!!!!
Die Hard 2: Not as good, a little more flat, but still good.
Die Hard with a Vengeance: Amazing!!! Bruce Willis and Sam L. Jackson make a great pair!
Live Free or Die Hard: PG-13? Little more safe, which makes it worst, but still great action film.
A Good Day to Die Hard: WHAT THE @$%&!!!!! That was a Die Hard movie?!!?!?!?!?
So now you got my basic impression on the movie.
Not that great...
The truth is that the beginning of the year, every movie is terrible!
The only reason I might have reviewed good movies is because they came out a long time ago.
For example: Amour came out a long time ago and was great!
Escape From Planet Earth not so long ago and it's really bad!
Anyways, let's get to the plot.
Wait hold on, was there even a plot?
This movie was so forced and scrambled that I couldn't catch on.
The only plot that I saw is that a guy, (NOT JOHN MCCLANE!) needs to stop a bad guy.
And the bad guy is Russian!
But anyways what was good in this movie?
The action was pretty good.
It has explosions and guns and it was entertaining.
But that's one thing!!
And that's not enough!!!
Now what was bad in this movie?
This is not a Die Hard movie!!!
If it was then I would at least seen a glimpse of John McClane!!!
There was no John McClane in this movie!!
None at all!!
The plot in this movie seemed forced and scrambled.
It was hard to follow with.
There's like a couple of twists in this movie and they're terrible!!!
They're terrible themselves and they're represented to me in a terrible way!
And the acting in this movie was also equally bad!
I mean it felt like the person who was acting wasn't Bruce Willis but Nicholas Cage.
TERRIBLE!
And the writing was bad!
It had stupid on liners and dialogue that wasn't realistic at all!
And the movie was also very unrealistic!
It had John McClane jumping of things and doing thing that would probably break every bone in his body.
But in the end you know he's all right because he only has like one tiny scratch.
And the chemistry between Bruce Willis and his son was terrible!
They have nothing in common whatsoever!
In all, I think it's fair enough to say that John Moore ruined the Die Hard franchise.
He should apologize to us because it's obvious that he his like Joel Schumacher ruining a superhero.
Score=3.0

Movie Review: Amour

This movie should have really been called "desole."
That means sorry in french.
It should have been called "desole" because that's how many times they say it.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 127 min
Stars: Emmanuelle Riva, Jean-Louis Trintignant

This movie could have also been called "oh mon dieu c'était intense!!"
It could have been called that because, OH MY GOD IT WAS INTENSE!
No but seriously, this movie was really intense.
The director did an amazing job and made probably the most intense movie I have ever seen!
But then again, I'm not very fond of dramas unless it's Oscar season which it is... 
GO SETH MACFARLANE!!!
HE'S GONNA DESTROY THE OSCARS!!!
Along with Stewie Griffin, Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glen Quagmire and ect.
But to get back to the point this movie was a drama, but even then it was amazing and here's why...
So the plot of the movie is that there's an old french couple that live in France. (DUH)
And then the wife gets a stroke and goes to the hospital.
She then comes back no better then before and things start to get sad and intense and scary in a way.
So what worked in the movie?
As I said before this movie was really intense.
And I liked that because it made me feel the most out of every movie I seen this year and maybe ever.
And some people may not like that but I liked it, it was unique to me.
This movie was also very realistic.
There was no music unless being played there in the room in the movie.
The scenes were stretched out to make it more realistic and that was also well done.
So this pretty much all proves that the directing in this movie was brilliant and very very well done.
Also the dialogue in this movie, and the script in general was very good and also very realistic.
And there are some twists in this movie that are also very surprising and unexpected.
And the director plays them off very well and makes it more entertaining and surprising.
Also the as I said before the score was amazing because there was none.
And the whole movie takes place in the apartment with the exception of once where you see the apartment buildings hallway.
But even though your in only one place for the whole movie doesn't make it bad.
It makes it a little more realistic.
And the acting by Emmanuelle Riva in the movie was fantastic!
We'll talk about the old man later.
Now what was bad about the movie.
In moments there are things that aren't necessary.
There are scenes that I would think would make the movie no different if they weren't there.
And even though sometimes the director has you looking at a wall for a million years to make he movie more real, it gets tiring and old after a while.
I bet if you took out all of that time used looking at a wall the movie would have been an hour shorter.
And then as I said before, I will talk about the old man.
He was plain the whole movie to me.
I now know why he wasn't nominated for an Oscar, because he wasn't that great.
He didn't show that much change in his emotion.
And when big things were happening he acted the same as when little were happening.
But in all this movie is very realistic and intense.
I understand why it was nominated for THE Oscar.
If you like very realistic, intense and sad movies, this is a definite must-see!
Score=7.5

Movie Review: Escape From Planet Earth

I told my friends that we should go see Die Hard.
I told them again and again but NOOO!!!
Well I warned them, and they didn't take me seriously, now look what we got - a terrible movie.

Rating: PG
Time: 89 min
Stars: Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker

When I saw this movie I thought it would be exactly like Planet 51.
You know just the opposite way around.
And to tell you the truth I hated Planet 51.
It's probably one of my least favorite movies of all time.
Well this is not entirely like that.
It's better, but not good.
But at least I'll thank that this is not Planet 52.
But anyways let's get on to the plot...
So the plot in this movie is that two alien brothers (one string and awesome but dumb, one small and wimpy but smart!) work together to save the day blah, blah, blah...
So the awesome one comes to earth and gets captured so the wimpy brother has to go and save him.
Really it's so simple.
So what worked in this movie.
At some moments in the movie there was a joke or two and it was funny.
I chuckled a little and that was good coming from this movie.
But even though I chuckled at some jokes there were some that I didn't chuckle at, but we'll get to that later...
Now what was bad in this movie?
I know there's not a lot of good things.
The action in this movie is lame and bad.
The other jokes that I didn't chuckle at were annoying and terrible.
The voices of some of the characters didn't match the personality or the creature.
The plot seems forced and it's at the same time really, really bad.
The movies slow, I got so bored at some of the moments.
The movie was also very, very predictable.
I knew exactly what was going to happen next and at the end.
It was also very cheesy.
And the script is terrible!!!
They say things in this movie that don't relate to their character or the situation that their in.
And this movie is plain old silly!
Only someone who's completely clear-minded or a tiny, tiny baby would think that this movie was good.
In the end, never see this movie ever.
Score=3.5

People's Top 10 Worst Movies of 2012

#1 To Rome With Love

I hated this movie.

It sucked and I hated it.

Nothing else...

I hated it.

Movie Review: Identity Thief

The only reason this movie was as good as it was, the only reason this movie was as funny as it is, is because the thief is played by Melissa McCarthy.
Without her the movie would've been worse, a lot worse.
Also another thing that made this movie better, I saw in an RPX theater.

Rating: R
Time: 112 min
Stars: Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy

If you're confused by my statement up above, let me summarize it.
If the part that Melissa McCarthy played were played by someone else, this movie would be bad.
The reason is, is because Melissa McCarthy is a funny actress.
If you put Jessica Chastain in her part it wouldn't be as good.
Sure there are other funny good things in the movie, but not as many as I wanted there to be.
So if Melissa McCarthy were replaced in this movie, I would though it was bad and not okay.
Okay is still not as good but it's better than okay.
But other then that let's get back to the review.
So, the plot in this movie is that Melissa McCarthy stole Jason Batemans, credit cards and basically his identity.
So now Jason Bateman is going after her so he can have an un-sucky life and than there's all this nonsense with action and cars and chasing that doesn't really matter.
So now that that's been mentioned let us all bring our attention to the things that did not suck in this film.
At some moments in the movie, it can be really funny and laugh out loud.
Even though some moments it can be the opposite... but that's later on.
And also this movie can have some really fun moments.
I don't want to spoil anything but there's this one moment that's super awesome!
And the action in this movie is at the most part good.
At some moments though it can be stupid and meaningless.
Not many good things right?
Now the things that absolutely did totally suck in this film that is way worse than Seth Gordon's other movie.
This movie is not totally a comedy.
There are some drama moments that are in there that may be good for people and may not be.
For me, the second one.
This movie when it has drama moments are way too sappy and overdone.
They're also irrelevant to the rest of the movie.
Or at least they make it feel that way.
They make the actors totally change their characters personality when these moments happen.
Anyways some of the comedy in this movie totally stupid!
It produces no laughs from the audience and a feeling in yourself saying "now that's just plain stupid/wrong."
And the characters in this movie are either annoying and bad or just plain boring!
And there are characters and things in this movie that are just unnecessary.
I can name two things, but both would spoil the movie a bit, I guess...
But anyways another thing was that the ending of this movie was good until one little line ruined it all.
The ending made a little laugh but not much.
But in total, this movie wasn't great and unless you have nothing else to watch, you should see it.
Score=5.0

People's Top 10 Worst Movies of 2012

#4 Hope Springs

This movie was boring and for old people.

I didn't relate at all with it!

But then again, it isn't meant for me.

Maybe that's why 5/6 of the movie were seniors.

#3 Ice Age 4

This movie was terrible.

It wasn't good and it had bad plot and jokes and everything.

This movie was terrible.

#2 The Lorax

I absolutely, positively hated this movie.

It was bad and even more bad!

There's not one thing that was good in this movie.

Lucky enough it was better than number 1.

By the way, I want to see if you can think of my least favorite movie of 2012.

COMMENT IF YOU KNOW!

Movie Review: Zero Dark Thirty

Everyone's just talking about the torture scenes in this movie and how their terrible and how they some what make the movie worse.
The truth is that the torture scenes aren't that bad and they definitely do not make the movie worse!
This movie is based on the REAL hunt for Bin Laden supposedly!
And it's a big part of this movie so if you take it out than it's like putting a unicorn in instead of Jessica Chastain.
And also, why the heck is this movie named Zero Dark Thirty?

Rating: R
Time: 157 min
Stars: Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton

Joel Edgerton really isn't in the movie for that long.
He's one of the guys who invades Bin Laden's house but other then that nothing.
And can I just bring up the fact that this movie was being made before the raid actually happened.
I mean so many people have been wondering this question that I've been wondering too.
And that question is "What would the movie ended like if the raid never happened?"
And would it have been as good?
Personally I think that if the raid never happened the movie would have been boring with an unsatisfying ending.
I also think that it would also not be nominated for best film at the Oscars.
But right now that doesn't matter because the raid fortunately did happen and now we got a good movie!
(BTW I kind of feel weird talking about the raid and Bin Laden like this caring only about the movie, but the truth is that this is a blog where I review movies so that's pretty much what I'm doing and what I have to do.)
So the plot in this movie is that following this woman named Maya played by Jessica Chastain and she's basically looking for Bin Laden.
So what worked in the movie?
THE ACTING!
Especially Jessica Chastain!
The acting in the movie was excellent with everyone staying and character and giving a performance that was so amazing!
Also the plot itself!
It's simple but complicated at the same time!
What I mean is that the plot is to find Bin Laden but it's not that easy!
There are some things that Chastain and the other people have to do get to that point.
If you stay on track, you'll understand and get through the movie in a much better mood.
Also what worked was the score!
It wasn't like a score that was too flashy like other movies (Broken City) and it wasn't like a score that was all dancy that I'll probably go home and buy it on iTunes.
It was perfect for the mood and the situation.
In the last scene of the movie during the raid the score is so well because it's not even there.
All you hear are the pitter-patter of the men's feet and it makes the moment so much better!
And that brings me to my next point, the last scene in this movie was amazing!
The silence is great and it's just so intense and great!
So what did not work?
This movie is long!
In real life it's only a minute shorter then Les Miserables.
But even though it's faster paced then it, it is still pretty slow in some moments.
When Chastain is just sitting at her desk or she's in an office it can get pretty boring!
And also this movie can get a little too goofy for the situation that it's in.
I mean it's not that goofy, but when you're making a movie about this situation then barely goofy turns to be extremely goofy.
And in some moments this movie may feel a little unbelievable.
It makes me question how much of the movie is actually true and how much of it's made-up for the entertainment of the audience.
Anyways if you can stand a movie about a strong reality like this then this movie is a must see.
Score=8.0

Peoples Top 10 Worst Movies of 2012

#7 Snow White and the Huntsman

This movie was so bad that it was worse than the kiddy Snow White!

And truthfully I like how Kristen Stewart tried a new role.

But she just brought her sad same vampire side with her.

#6 A Thousand Words

Eddie Murphy keeps on getting worse and worse!

The characters and comedy in this movie are terrible.

This movie also has the #1 worst ending I have ever seen in my entire life.

#5 The Hunger Games

I hated the book and I hate the movie!

The whole idea of the Hunger Games is just so dumb and absolutely terrible.

BTW if you make a movie with a whole bunch of kids killing each other, then don't make the kills look like they're coming from SpongeBob.