Movie Review: The Place Beyond the Pines

This movie is a mystery.
Don't believe the trailers because that's only a small portion of the movie.
There's much more, and that much more is a mystery.
The mystery is...
Can you figure out who the main character is!!!!????

Rating: R
Time: 120 min
Director: Derek Cianfrance
Stars: Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper

I'm still trying to figure out the mystery.
Anyways let's learn a little about the movie before we get into the reviewing stuff.
This movie is from and new director who directed Blue Valentine in 2010.
I never saw the movie but it looks... yeah.
Anyways, It has Bradley Cooper who plays a rookie cop.
Eva Mendez who plays her character which I don't know how to explain.
And Ryan Gosling who hated the role and acting in it.
He said that having all of that face tattoo was terrible and embarrassing.
He was actually supposed to where more but he didn't like it so he got away with a little less.
And this movie is long!!!!
But you know what I realized, a lot of movies are really long now often.
This is long, Oblivion is long (I'm reviewing it next.) Pain and Gain is long.
A lot is long!
But anyways that's all I know about the movie.
SOOO, let's get on to the review.
There are three plots in this movie.
1. A motorcyclist starts to rob banks to provide for his family.
2. A rookie cop is trying to make his department better which is at the moment being ruled by a corrupt detective.
3. Many years later.
I'll get more into the plot thing later.
FOR NOW, what was good?
The acting was great.
The characters were each very powerful and I enjoyed watching all of them.
And when it was happening the action was great.
Also what this movie does very well is that it builds a lot of suspense and then when the big thing happens, it's not a let down, it's actually very good.
The dialogue good because it was realistic.
The story was good besides the three thing.
This movie was very enjoyable and it connected to me to what was happening on screen.
I have not seen a decent movie in such a long time and this is actually great.
Now what was bad about this movie?
As I said before, the three plot idea.
This movie seemed to have three plots.
What it felt like to me was that it would be a really good 1 hour film but they wanted it to be big so they added 2 more plots.
They ran out of steam for one idea so instead they added another which eventually had to lead to another.
Also this movie is way too proud of itself.
A lot of people are saying that and what I mean is that it's trying to be this movie that will win many awards and people will know forever, kind of like Godfather just Godfather didn't try as hard.
It's like that annoying kid in school who is always trying to top you but in real life, it's just sad...
This movie is good, but it's not anything that you're going to remember forever.
It try's to hard.
Anyways all in all this movie is a great start to the summer movie season and an end to the beginning of the year terrible movies.
See this movie, NOT Oblivion!
Score=8.0

Movie Review: 42

I've never liked the Phillies.
I've never liked them at all.
This movie doesn't make it better.
At all.
Actually the Phillies suck.
Period.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 128 min
Director: Brian Helgeland
Stars: Chadwick Boseman, Harrison Ford

P.S. No offense if you like the Phillies.
It's just that they never passed my mind.
But now, because I saw this movie...
I HATE THE PHILLIES!!!!
And if you like the Phillies and you saw this movie.
Come on...
You've got to like them a little less.
And if none of this relates to you, if you don't even know Jackie Robinson then walk away.
By the way, since this is neither good or bad I should probably mention this now.
Harrison Fords voice in this film is so... strange.
What I mean is that it's really weird.
But not in the high pitch or unique way.
It's more scraggly and deep.
I just don't see Harrison Ford with that voice.
I think that if he had his normal voice it would sound strange, but this voice doesn't make it much better.
So what was the plot in this movie?
The plot is that there's a new player to baseball.
But he's different from the others.
He's Jackie Robinson.
He's the first African American man to play baseball and he's going to kick some-
So what was good?
First of all, the acting.
The acting wasn't amazing but it was pretty good.
It would probably be over 50% so it's on the better side.
Also the villain in this movie sucks.
It makes you hate them!
But I guess that's good because for a good movie you need to have a good villain that's just terrible in every way possible.
The villain is the Phillies.
ANYWAYS, some of the scenes in this movie were pretty awesome.
The baseball scenes were probably the best.
They were so well filmed with no shaky camera or anything!
They were really fun to watch and it made the rest of the film much more exciting and better.
I'm not saying that the other scenes were terrible, I'm just saying that they were usually dramaish.
And there's one more element to this movie that most movies don't have.
This movie is a true story.
It's about a real person at a real time.
And not so much, but enough movies say that they're based on a true story.
But what this movie has that the others don't is that this film gets you interested.
But not while you're watching it.
After.
Now I know that there are films like Argo that are really amazing and win Best Picture.
And I also know that there are terrible true story movies like the one that's coming out on Friday.
It's called Pain and Gain, and even though how much I want to see it, it's going to suck.
Mostly because of Michael Bay.
A little bit from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
But anyways, this movie had something those other two movies didn't.
This is my opinion, but this movie intrigued me to learn more about Jackie Robinson.
The way his character was in this movie made me question if he really was like that.
Eventually I never actually researched him because you know... stuff happened... busy... ect.
But my point is, Argo and bad true story movies like the upcoming Pain and Gain or Pearl Harbor (which was also directed by Michael Bay and sucked) didn't do that to me.
So what was bad.
Not much.
I thought that in moments the movie got too cartoony.
I also thought they should've shown more scenes on the ball field because those were the best moments.
And the last bad thing to me in this movie was the ending.
I thought the ending was unfulfilling and even a little bit cheesy.
I guess you have to watch it for yourself and decide if you agree with me or not.
In the end, this movie on the mostly on the better side.
It had it's flaws but wasn't absolutely terrible.
Score=7.0

Movie Review: Spring Breakers

WHAT!!!??
What is a kid doing in a movie like this??
This is an outrage!!!
And I totally agree.
What is a kid doing in a movie that sucked?
The world may never know...

Rating: R
Time: 94 min
Director: Harmony Korine
Stars: Selena Gomez, James Franco

You see what I did?
I started putting director!
I thought that they should deserve some recognition too.
Anways, why did I spend money on a movie that sucked?
I didn't!
The trailer of the movie looked good, and I couldn't wait to see all of these Disney princesses go wild!
Also James Franco!
But you know, I wasn't allowed to see it.
So for my birthday after months of asking my family if I could see it, my family surprised me on my birthday and took me to see it.
I saw 3/4 before we were all disgusted and left the theater.
And I know most people are like, "He can't review it if he didn't see it all!"
The truth is, that I saw most of it, and read the about the other 4th on Wiki.
I was sad though.
The movie sucked.
Even though there were some things that were good.
But I guess I'll explain all of that later.
So what was the plot in this movie?
The plot is that there are these insane girls with one good one that go to spring break together.
I think they went to spring break in Florida so anyways while there they get arrested.
James Franco, a rapper, drug dealer, insane dude bails them out and then they get into all kinds of trouble and messed up stuff.
BTW!!!
Before we start the review, I just have to mention on last thing.
Besides us, in theater there were only two other people.
When we got outside it was pouring so waited around for a couple of minutes.
5 minutes later those two people came out as well.
Spring Breakers=FAIL!!!!!
So what was good in this movie?
The acting was amazing!!!
James Franco was playing a role it seemed he had played millions of times before and he was amazing!
If James Franco wasn't in this role I would say that he would've been terrible in the role.
But now that I see him I can't think of another person who could've done it any better!!
He sold it and was probably the best thing of the whole film to me.
Also, this movie is unpredictable!
I had no idea where it was going and what it was doing.
Sometimes the way it was going was good, but other times...
And I wasn't sure if these Disney Princesses were going to do well or bad.
But Vanessa Hudgens is not a Disney Princess anymore!!!
Selena Gomez doesn't go that far though.
BUT EVERYBODY ELSE!!!!!
JESUS!!!
BTW.
That wasn't a good or bad thing.
Normal...
So what was bad in this movie?
The repetitiveness!
In this movie, they show the same thing over and over again!!
And over and over and over again.
And over and over again.
And over again.
And over.
And it is annoying!!
I've seen that scene before so why do they show it over and over again!!!
I DON'T KNOW!!!!!
Also the editing was bad.
I thought they cut a scene right before you could breathe it all in.
And this is a heavy movie!
You need time!
Also, the first half of this movie is spring break and only spring break.
Maybe that's a lie but most of it is spring break.
Just booze, boobs and drugs.
In the end this movie is very messed up.
It was also very bad besides the acting which was good but bad because the characters are interesting but just bad people that relate to the fact that this movie is messed up.
Score=3.5

Movie Review: G.I. Joe Retaliation

So the first one sucked.
And they made a second one.
If they had a terrible first one, why would they make a second one?
The world may never know!
(It was for the money.)

Rating: PG-13
Time: 110 min
Stars: Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson, Bruce Willis

Welcome to the terrible world of Bruce Willis!!!
Let me start telling you some fun facts about this wonderful man!
In 1988 he stared in his best movie ever called Die Hard!
Sure he's been in many other great movies like Pulp Fiction, but that's not what I'm talking about!
We started off 2013 with a hope to see him return awesomely in Die Hard 5!
He returned.
And then we saw the trailer for this movie and even though we knew the movie was going to suck like the first we still hoped for Bruce Willis to show his awesomeness!
He showed up.
That's it.
And let me just say something about the white ninja guy.
People call him Storm Shadow.
BTW!
THIS IS A SPOILER ALERT FOR THE FIRST MOVIE!!!
In the first film, Storm Shadow dies.
Snake Eyes stabs him and he falls into like an icy watery death.
And that's the end of it.
But in this movie, he magically appears!
No scars, no death, no nothing!!!
And guess what else this dumb director did!
SPOILER ALERT FOR THIS MOVIE!!!!!
He killed the main character from the first one!
And in like 20 minutes too!
Duke, NOOOOOOO!!!!!! :*(
END OF ALL SPOILERS!!!!!!
Anyways that's it!
So let's get to the review!!
So the plot in this film is that the G.I. Joes are like banned from being alive and stuff.
So they have to stop the Cobra's who are basically the government at this point.
You see all of this in the trailer!
Anyways what was good in this movie?
The action's pretty cool!
I mean with awesome fight scenes and stuff.
Also the weapons are AWESOME.
Some guy named Bruce Willis has an awesome but load of them!
But not only is the weapons and action awesome, also the gadgets!!
Which are pretty much weapons, so yeah...
That's kind of sad.
The only good thing about this film was the gadgets.
And a little action.
Fail...
So what wasn't good about this movie?
The acting.
Personally I think that The Rock is a terrible actor.
He should have just stuck to WWE.
And the comedic timing is also very stupid and bad!
The screen is black and your hearing all these war and explosion and gun stuff.
Then the black goes off and it's just the two war people playing video games.
That was terrible.
AND THE EDITING IN THIS MOVIE WAS ALSO VERY BAD!!!!
I usually don't talk about this stuff because usually there's nothing to talk about, but this movie had terrible editing!
It kept on switching views very fast and soon and it gave me a huge headache!
The 3D didn't help either.
So in the end, this movie is a waste of money!
It's predictable and not even worth the price on rent.
Don't see this movie!!
But do see this movie if you're a person who loves to waste money on things that suck!!
Score=4.0

Movie Review: The Croods

So Dreamworks is all of a sudden awesome.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU PIXAR!!!!???
No but seriously, somethings strange here.
When has Dreamworks ever been better than Pixar?

Rating: PG
Time: 98 min
Stars: Nicholas Cage, Emma Stone

By the way, the intro to this post was terrible.
It was misleading so I'll clear it up for you.
I'm not saying that this movie was amazing or anything.
I'm saying that Pixar sucks.
They were good and now their bad.
The Croods was definitely not perfect.
It had it's flaws which I will explain later.
But anyways I just wanted to get that cleared up.
Anyways...
I COULD HAVE SEEN G.I. JOE!!!!!
I SHOULD HAVE SEEN G.I. JOE!!!
NOW THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN IT, MY DUMB FRIENDS SPOILED IT FOR ME!!!!
I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS!
WWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
:(
But that's not the point, let's get to the review...
So the plot in this movie is that there is this family of cavemen that have lived in high boredom.
They don't ever leave their cave, and their always so... over protective.
Anyways the worlds ending and they have to find a way to survive it.
So what was good about this movie?
This movie is very beautiful.
What I mean is that all the colors are so great!
The scenarios are also great.
And even though we all saw a little of it in the trailer I want to explain it to you.
People are saying "it's the cartoon version of avatar."
And another thing that I didn't expect in this movie was the animals.
I thought this movie would be normal and real.
IT'S NOT!!!!!
The animals are mixtures of different animals.
There are trees that glow!
There are huge plants that kill!!!
And another thing in this movie is that the worlds supposed to be ending and it looks like it!
It doesn't look like the continents are splitting and the worlds only cracking.
It looks like the whole thing is turning to ashes!
And it is also very good art.
WOW!
Everything I said had to do with the view and art in the movie.
Well, almost everything.
So what was bad about the movie?
The first half of this movie STINKS!!!!
And I'll tell you why!
In the first half of the movie, the characters are SSSSOOOO annoying!!!
I could barely stand them!
I was seriously about to walk out of the door when I heard Emma Stone.
Her character was so ANNOYING!
Another bad thing about this movie was the appearance.
I mean the person who created the characters appearance did it terribly!
All the characters look ugly and are hard to look at!
Well not all of them, just the two main characters.
You know, the people you see the most on screen.
And can I just mention that Nicholas Cage doesn't even try to make his voice different in a cartoon.
If I was deaf I would know it was him!
So all in all this movie had very good visuals but very annoying characters and looks.
But in the end I have to say the movie was mostly enjoyable and fun for anybody.
Score=7.0

Movie Review: Admission

If you're someone who is really involved in colleges then I have a piece of advice for you.
DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE!!!
It will break your heart and your dreams.
How do I know this you might ask.
Well it did that exact thing to me.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 107 min
Stars: Tina Fey, Paul Rudd

So instead of this movie I could have gone and seen something else that might have been better or more entertaining.
As you can see on my blog, I have not yet seen or reviewed The Croods or GI Joe Retaliation.
Well I had the chance to see those movies but NOOOOOOO!!!!
Instead I chose to see whatever this is.
And to tell you the truth I was kind of excited to see this movie.
It had some really funny actors like Tina Fey who I thought did well with Amy Poehler at the Golden Globes.
And also Paul Rudd is in this movie who is a comedy genius in films like Anchorman and other stuff...
So what makes this movie so not awesome?
Well to tell you the truth I don't know.
Although I do have a theory that it's so bad because of the plot.
The plot made it personal for the film and scary for viewers like me.
If it were just a comedy I think it would have been better.
But I'll get into that later.
For now, here is the plot.
So there's this women who chooses who gets to get into Princeton College.
So her life is going fine until she suspects a kid to be her child who she aborted when she was much younger.
So that kid wants to go to Princeton and she wants to take care of that kid.
And then other stuff happens and blah, blah, blah, movie over.
But anyways let's get into the good things about this movie.
This movie went by really fast.
Some people might wonder why that's a good thing and I'll tell you why.
If something is fun and/or entertaining it goes by really fast.
So I sort of guess that this movie was some entertaining.
Another thing that was good in this movie is that it goes to places I didn't think it would.
All I'll say is that this movie can be predictable but not in the way you think.
And also the side story with Paul Rudd and his son is good.
It has a different plot but it gives the two characters more importance to me the viewer.
So what did not work?
The way this movie goes into big moments is terrible.
I mean they do big things in a small thing way.
And also I think that some of the scenes or transitions don't make sense.
It's hard to explain but like in the beginning of the movie Paul Rudd calls Tina Fey to ask her to visit his campus and she totally just ignores him pretends not to care.
But then she goes and I think there could have been more to it.
And the performances in this movie are also pretty dull.
I think that Paul Rudd and Tina Fey were just not giving a great performance.
Especially from Paul Rudd.
I was disappointed in him.
And the humor in this movie was also not that amazing.
I might have chuckled once or twice but no more.
But then again I think this movie was trying to accomplish the role of being a Dramedy with extra drama.
But even then it failed.
All in all, this movie is not the best movie in the world.
I think everyone would be better off just seeing something else.
Score=4.5