Movie Review: The Odd Life Of Timothy Green

Let me say it right here, the trailer for this movie was complete GARBAGE!
Now lets talk about the movie.

Rating: PG
Time: 105 min
Stars: Jennifer Garner, Joel Edgerton

Pretty much the only reason I wanted to see this movie was because Joel Edgerton was in it.
But this movie didn't turn out to be as bad as it looked.
The plot in this movie is that Garner and Edgerton can't have a baby, so they make a box with personalities that they would like their kid to have and then they bury it in the garden.
Then Timothy Green appears he's different and we have our plot.
Let me get started on the acting.
Garner I thought did well in this movie, I realized that this movie wasn't her greatest but I thought she could bring some more.
I liked Edgerton in this movie, I thought he was a good character and that he did his job well.
But you know, not amazing.
The kid in this movie is how I expected the kid to be.
I thought he did great in the movie.
The kid hangs out with a girl in the movie that looked wrong.
She looked like she was 14 and he looked like he was 8 but I guess that was the only good actress that applied for the part because if she wasn't, seriously?
This is a movie that makes you feel good the whole way through.
I loved the ending and I thought it was a warm movie and I enjoyed it.
Now let me get started on the bad things.
This movie is Disney all the way.
This movie is Disney and it was everything you expect from Disney.
To some people that's a good thing but to me personally Disney just annoys the heck out of me.
Another thing that I realized are the emotions in this movie.
The actors and everything in the movie.
It's the same feel good emotion everywhere!
Even when things go wrong!
Oops I got fired, YAY!
Oops I got beat up, YAY!
(Those things didn't really happen, or did they?)
Anyways if you're on of those people who only like movies with love and family and pretty much no action just a feel good movie, then go to this one.
If you don't then don't go to this one.
And if you love Disney then see this movie and the other way around.
Score=7.0

Movie Review: ParaNorman

They really did it this time.

I'm really not sure if that's good or bad.

Rating: PG

Time: 93 min

Stars: Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck

This movie wasn't that good of a movie.

It was GREAT!

This movie was the closest PG movie to PG-13 I have ever seen.

If there were a rating between PG and PG-13 it would be that rating.

It is not a kid movie, it is mostly a movie for teenagers to me.

but that's why I liked it so much.

So let's get started on the things I liked about the movie.

The characters in this movie are awesome!

They each have there own unique personality that's so fun to watch.

The Sister "I don't care about anyone but I'm going to do the thing that's right."

The Jock "I'm so dumb that I don't even know if I'm good looking or not?"

The Bully "I act like I'm better then everyone but really I'm a wimp."

The Fat Kid "Everything is so awesome! Hey look a Zombie's trying to eat me- AWESOME!"

And Norman "What's up President Washington?"

But seriously they're awesome.

The movie is entertaining.

I'm always connected to the movie, it just makes me into it.

There are some jokes in this movie and wow are they funny.

Probably the funniest most adultish PG movie I've seen.

Don't go to the bathroom at the end, TRUST ME!

And there are some twists in this movie that are surprising.

The effects in this movie are good and a lot of stuff in this movie are good!

Probably one of my favorite claymation films.

Now the bad stuff.

There are some things that are pretty annoying in this movie.

I can't tell you what because then it will ruin the movie for you, but there are.

This movie can get slow.

The pacing I mean.

And other then that the only thing that I didn't like was the dad and how he was always putting down Norman and telling him that he is a weirdo.

But then again I guess you're not supposed to like him so props to them on that!

Adults if you have a kid bring him to Ice Age or Wimpy Kid or Odd Life of Timothy Green!

And teenagers, go see this movie!

And kids, say you're going to Ice Age and instead go to this one!

It's much better!

Score=8.0

Movie Review: Total Recall

3 BOOBS!
COUNT THEM, 1, 2, 3!
AWESOME!

Rating: PG-13
Time: 118 min
Stars: Colin Farrel, Bokeem Woodbine

If you're a boy, stop reading this and go see this movie before it's too late!
You won't regret!
Now for the girls, here's my review!
The plot in this movie is that there's this guy who goes to a place where they mess up your brain but there some things go wrong.
So know Colin Farrel is running from the government.
Like the Bourne movies this movie starts you off knowing nothing.
The only difference is that this movie isn't trying to do that.
So today let me switch it up and start with the bad stuff first.
The story isn't that strong it makes me want to get up and walk out of the theater.
It made me think "this movie sucks." and I didn't even know why.
There were some parts that I just hated.
The wife in this movie sucks, I hate her.
But I guess I'm supposed to feel that so props to her for making me hate her so much!
But anyways the twists in this movie are terrible, the movie's predictable and that just stinks!
I wanted more from this movie.
I mean like there are some parts and characters in this movie that were so useless that if you had taken them out of the movie there would be no difference in the film at all.
Now the good things.
The action scenes in this movie are insanely awesome.
When Colin Farrel is fighting it gets me so pumped and it's great.
The scenery is great.
It's futuristic and just awesome to look at.
I would have loved this movie if it were a tour through the city.
The special effects in this movie are great.
They're cool, big and kept me locked in for the whole movie.
This movie is not boring.
You will not get bored, you will always want more.
Men, 3 BOOBS!
Like you're going to ever see 3 boobs ever again!
Score=6.5

Movie Review: The Expendables 2

Finally, the movie we have all been waiting for, time to kick some B-U-T-T!

Rating: R

Time: 103 min
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris

So I when I saw the first Expendables on Netflix I thought that movie was TERRIBLE!
But then I saw the second one.
And I was like, this-is-AWESOME.

This movie is full of all the old action stars that everyone has missed.
Now imagine all your action stars as a kid together just walking around killing everyone in sight.
Two words AWE-SOME.
So the plot in this movie is the Expendables are on a mission that should be a walk in the park for them.
When one of them gets killed, and so on.
The beginning of the movie starts off with a BAM!
The Expendables are on a mission and they are slaughtering people all over the place.
The action scenes in this movie are awesome, you're always hooked in and pleading for some more.
Probably the best action movie of the year.
But you know an action movie that's so good that you can laugh at it.
That's another thing I liked in this movie there were a lot of jokes that weren't bad jokes there were good laugh out loud jokes.
In this movie they made some jokes about the actors and their old movies.
Like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Terminator!
No but seriously, I really enjoyed this movie, a lot!
Now to get to the bad stuff.
The script in this movie sucks.
The lines are bad and cheesy.
But that's not what disappointed me.
It was the CGI in this movie.
It is over reacted and dumb.
I saw when a guy was shot, with a bullet, there was a hole in his chest the size of an apple.
And when some guy gets his head chopped off, well you have to be there to actually realize how dumb they make it look.
But other then those two things, the movie definitely a must see in my list!
Score=8.5

Movie Review: The Bourne Legacy

I still like Matt Damon better.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 135 min
Stars: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz

So Hawkeye joins the show!
No but seriously I like Jason Bourne better.
So the plot in this movie is a plot so confusing that you have to see the three older movies to actually understand this one.
So know that I brought that up lets start with what I didn't like about the movie.
I didn't like how Jeremy Renner joins the Bourne movie series.
I liked Matt Damon and I will always like Matt Damon.
And if you're going to continue the Bourne movies without Jason Bourne then just name it something else.
Otherwise continue the saga with the main character or don't continue the saga!
Then there's how you understand somethings in this movie.
Unless paying attention to every single detail in this movie you're probably not going understand some moments.
And if you came to this movie because it looked like a good movie, don't.
If you want to see this movie see the first three first.
Other then that the only thing I didn't like about the movie was this really long action scene right at the end.
They should've cut some of it because that moment spoiled the movie for me.
And I also didn't like the ending.
Coincidence?
I can't say the acting's good but I can't say it's bad so I'll just say nothing.
Anyways now I'll talk about the things that did work for me.
The action scenes in this movie are amazing. (besides the last one.)
They're the kind of action scenes that you can laugh at because it's so good.
Well all of them besides one.
There is a scene in this movie where it is just dark.
There's no song and it has you on the edge of your seat.
it is realistic and it is dark.
I can honestly say that this action scene that I'm talking about is the best action scene I have seen all year.
You'll know the seen when you see it.
I also like how all the Bourne movies start off with the audience knowing absolute nothing.
Until the movie goes on and you start to assemble pieces of the puzzle until you're puzzle is complete.
I just love how they do that.
I also like the pacing in the movie. (but not the last action scene.)
I thought they did the beginning well and throughout the movie I only thought once that something was to long or to short.
but I already talked about that.
Anyways if you've seen the past three Bourne movies then you definitely need to see this one.
But if you haven't then should probably go see something else.
Score=7.0

Movie Review: Hope Springs

More then 2/3 of the audience were seniors.

Bit of advice, if you want to come to this movie to have relationship advice, don't.

Rating: PG-13

Time: 100 min

Stars: Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones

If you want to bring your grandma to this movie only because the main characters are old people then you should probably not tell her that this movie will die soon enough.

It will remind them of sad stuff...

Woops!

See, Tommy Lee Jones is already dead. (Well at least as an actor he is.)

This movie's about two old people who are having relationship problems so Meryl Streep joins a couples counselling problem and so then you meet Steve Carrel and the rest of the movie is them on a couch.

No but seriously the movie goes from home, couch, movie theater, couch to buying bananas popsicles and some sausages.

Now lets get started on the acting.

The best actor in this movie to me was Tommy Lee Jones, he did his job perfectly well but to me I would have chosen Kurtwood Smith.

I could totally see Smith doing Lees part 100%.

Meryl Streep was good but there's good and there's overboard.

And she definitely went overboard.

She made the movie look like it was all just one big joke.

Then there's Steve Carrel.

He should probably just stick to comedy.

I mean throughout the whole movie I hated him.

He never told a joke, ever!

And his part was so easy all he had to do is say something nobody wants to hear then smile like he hates himself.

Another thing in this movie I didn't like was when they had a joke but then the movie ruins that joke by having an emotional moment right after it.

And did I mention that the movie was really predictable, well it was!

Now the good things.

The jokes, the jokes that they said in the movie were funny and you could laugh out loud.

Well at least if your not serious.

A serious guy would hate this movie guaranteed!

And other then the jokes the only other thing I liked was that the movie was really easy to understand.

So if your a senior or a single, don't see this movie.

It won't help.

Score=4.5

Movie Review: The Fighter

At least Christian Bale doesn't sound like he has throat cancer.

Rating: R
Time: 116 min
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale

So two days ago I saw Warrior on Netflix.
Today I saw The Fighter.
I thought Warrior was brilliant but my mom and my brother were like "NO! The Fighter's much better! Warrior's just a big bowl of violence!"
But fact is that they hadn't seen Warrior.
So today I will answer that question.
But from my point of view, not theirs.
The Fighter is about a young boxer and his training before the fights.
Now I know everyone's saying that, OMJ Christian Bale was so amazing in this movie.
And I am here to approve their opinion.
Everybody in this movie was great in their role, but he out acts everyone!
Christian Bale was the real Batman in this movie!
He was amazing!
Christian Bale plays Mark Wahlberg's brother and trainer who smokes drugs and gets into trouble.
To me it didn't look like Christan Bale was acting it looked like he was really on drugs!
He definitely out acted everybody else in this entire film.
Then there's Amy Adams.
Personally I loved Amy Adams in this film.
When I saw the trailer I didn't think she would be like how she was, but she acted like the character I didn't think she would be and she did it wonderfully.
Mark Wahlberg was also amazing in this film but you know theirs nothing much to talk about with him.
Then there's Mark Wahlberg's family.
They're the type of family that's turning you down all the time.
They're not really supporting Wahlberg and they're not a good family.
The mom only really seems to care about Batman.
The only person who's really supporting Wahlberg is Adams.
What I loved about this movie is that how they did thee fight scenes.
It really seemed like you were sitting in the audience or sitting at home watching the fight.
It made you wanna jump up and go YEAH!
The only thing that didn't seem great in this movie was the ending.
The end of the movie seems to fast and that like they had already used up to much time of the movie and that they needed to make it fast, rushed and choppy.
And also that there weren't and giant big surprises in the movie.
It was a little predictable.
So which was better to me, The Fighter or Warrior.
They're both great awesome films, I loved them both but I would have to say Warrior.
But still they're both great.
So now the sco- wait!
What's that?
They're mixing the movies together!
They're taking Bale out of The Fighter and Hardy out of Warrior and making a movie with them both!
And it's called... THE DARK KNIGHT RISES!
And the movie review is only 4 posts down!
Well it must've been amazing!
Anyways the score for The Fighter.
Score=9.0

P.S. Warrior movie review is 2 post down.

Movie Review: To Rome With Love

Ehhh, it was okay.

Rating: R
Time: 112 min
Stars: Woody Allen, Jesse Eisenberg

Really, R?
To me this movie would be PG-13 and if there were PG-7.
Now lets start with the bad things.
ALEC BALDWIN!!!!!!!!!!
His part was unimportant and ruined the movie for me.
It was like they had no use for him.
They just put him in the movie because he was really famous.
But what I bet Woody Allen was thinking was... "OH Woody Allen, he's famous! Let's just put him in the movie for no exact reason." OK!!
So there you go, Alec Baldwin was terrible in this movie.
There are four stories in this movie and half of them have no reason to be in there.
And there are some things in this movie that are so dumb but I can't explain unless I spoil the movie.
This movie really had no purpose to be a movie.
Maybe that's Woody Allen or maybe this movie really did suck that much.
The people in this movie were terrible, not the acting just the characters.
Jesse Eisenberg's character sucked.
But then again I can't say anything unless I spoil it.
I never got really connected with anybody on screen.
They were all butts and I didn't have time to think about one until the next story had already started.
That's another thing I didn't like about the movie.
It felt forced to me.
I thought it went by to fast and I thought that Woody Allen was just forcing some things in there.
Now the good things in this movie.
The humor.
There were some laughs in this movie.
Some of them were really dumb but there were some times I laughed out loud.
I would have to admit, some funny scenes in this movie that were entertaining.
And that's another thing.
The movie was entertaining, I never got bored.
So if your looking for a movie because you've seen every other movie or you like movies that over react everything...
Wait a week and go see Expendables 2
Score=5.0

Movie Review: Warrior

Finally Netflix brings me something great to watch!
Other then this their movies pretty much suck.

Rating: PG-13
Time: 140 min
Stars: Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte

Before I saw this movie I hated Nick Nolte.
I had never seen a movie where he was really acting (not Arthur) I had only seen trailers.
And in most of those trailers I usually thought he was boring or the bad guy.
Then I see Warrior, then I was proved wrong.
Warrior is about these two brothers, one has came back from somewhere and seems like he has a grudge and the other has a family.
The one who has a family (Joel Edgerton) is in a bad place.
He has no money and the bank will be taking his house.
So he joins a boxing tournament for a prize of 5,000,000$ so does Tom Hardy (the brother)
The acting in this movie was amazing.
If you see Inception Tom Hardy is the bright jokey one in the movie.
Then you see this movie and you see how he can really act, you see his dark side.
He is a man with a grudge and he didn't come to make peace and say hello to his brother.
He came to throw some punches.
Joel Edgerton is a great actor in this movie.
You see that he has a family and you see that he has to do what he has to do to protect his family.
Nick Nolte was great in this movie.
He is sober but you could see that he was a drinker and abused his children.
He's one of those characters that is trying to make things right even though he knows that he's already messed up and he can't rewrite the past.
The story and the plot in this movie was amazing.
It had you holding on to your seat the whole way through.
Then when they fight in this movie it's amazing.
Not only the movie but the fights were written perfectly.
It was choreographed perfectly.
At the end of the fights in wanted to make you stand up and start clapping like crazy.
This movie was realistic, you can't say it's not.
You can't say it's fake, wait what'd you say?
You think it doesn't look real?
Well guess what?
YOU'RE WRONG!!!!!!!
And everyone don't be afraid to admit it, but by the end of this movie your stomach starts to have butterflies or you just tear up.
Well at least to anyone who has a soul.
Even my stomach started to hurt.
Well at least until my cousin poked me in the neck.
I recommend this movie to anyone knows a good time.
Score=THE BEST 9.5

Movie Review: Ice Age 4

For a better movie scroll down one post.

For a bad movie start reading.

Rating: PG

Time: 88 min

Stars: Ray Romano, Denis Leary

Personally I hated Dawn of The Dinosaurs so when I walked into this movie I wasn't that excited.

So then I learned that Nicki Manaj and Drake were in the movie.

I hadn't even seen the movie by that time and it had already gone from bad to worse!

So the plot in this movie is that that little annoying squirrel had done something dumb to get his acorn and created the world to break into little pieces or as we call them, continents.

Right away in the movie the mammoth and everybody else finally has their family together.

Until about fifteen minutes into the movie they all get separated.

The mammoth, the sloth and the tiger thing are off drifting into the sea.

And there is a giant mountain getting closer to where everybody else is.

So the mammoths family and everybody else need to get to a new island where they will be protected.

So now let me start talking about the bad things in this movie.

Throughout this whole movie the mammoths daughter is having a teen midlife crisis.

She wants to be apart of the popular mammoths and you know, isn't.

This part of the movie got me so annoyed because I'm not sure if she realizes this but her dad's missing and she's probably going to die.

So there's that useless part in the movie that everyone hated and didn't deserve to be in this movie or any movie at ALL!

And then there's the bad guy.

I disliked the bad guy so much because he wouldn't give up.

He's a gorilla and he's a pirate.

And even though the trio didn't have any gold he just wouldn't give up when they escaped.

What was his motivation in this movie?

Let me think... OH YEAH!

NOTHING!

I thought he was a terrible character.

Now what was good in this movie.

There were some moments in this movie where I laughed and enjoyed the joke.

But other then that, the only part I liked was the little Maggie Simpson skit before the movie had actually started.

I would recommend this movie to kids and only very little kids.

If there is an adult reading this out there, hire a babysitter to take your kid (If you have one) to this movie!

You probably don't deserve this kind of pain!

Score=4.5

Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

So there's two questions here today.

Which Dark Knight movie was the best and also which was better this movie or The Avengers.

So let me answer those questions.

Rating: PG-13

Time: 165 min

Stars: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy

This movie was long and awesome, so let me get right into it!

This movie is plotted 8 years after the Joker broke Gotham.

Batman hasn't been in his suit since then and he's kind of rusty.

And then in the worst time possible for Bruce Wayne they introduce Bane.

Bane is not like Joker.

Bane is superior to Batman in every way.

Even if Batman killed people, he could not kill Bane!

Joker wanted to break Batman mentally.

Bane also wanted to break Batman but physically.

Also in the movie is Catwoman.

I think that Anne Hatheway was probably one of the best choices for Catwoman.

She was mysterious and everything I wanted from her.

Also in this movie is Joseph Gordon Levitt as John Blake (a police officer.)

To me he stood out.

He was really important to the movie and he did his job really well.

Probably my favorite character.

In a part of this movie it seemed that Bane was unbeatable it made you feel more excited about the movie.

It kept my hopes up all the way.

This movie was exciting and had you crawling for more.

There were some things in this movie that i call quick fixes.

In the movie there are times where you're like "oh that's not gonna work."

And then there's a fix, to be exact a quick fix.

Christian Bale in this movie was great and I thought he did amazing.

In this movie they go by scenes really fast for me.

This movie is long and it seems like things goes by too fast.

I think and hope that a directors cut will come out.

For example in this movie you don't see a lot of Alfred.

I wanted to see more Alfred.

And other then that the only thing that disappointed me was Bane's voice.

At some moments in the movie I didn't understand what he was saying, it was confusing.

So now to answer the questions that were mentioned at the top of this post.

First: Which Dark Knight movie was the best according to me?

I can't say the first so even though Scarecrow is my favorite villain I can not say Batman Begins.

I loved The Dark Knight Rises but I have bought and seen and watched the Dark Knight more.

Joker is awesome and the best blend of villain.

I recite lines from the Dark Knight but TDKR was more me and I seemed to enjoy it more.

Maybe because I've seen The Dark Knight too much but until I see TDKR a million times I will have to make this a tie.

Winner: THE DARK KNIGHT & THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Next question: Which is better to me, The Avengers or TDKR?

When I was asked that question my answer was automatically TDKR.

But that wasn't fair because I hadn't seen The Avengers since May and I saw TDKR yesterday.

But I think I enjoyed TDKR more, The Avengers is just silly.

Winner: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Anyways the score...

Score=9.5

Movie Review: The Dark Knight

“I want my phone call, I want it I want it, I want my phone call.”

Rating: PG-13

Time: 152 min

Stars: Christan Bale, Heath Ledger

Is that lipstick around his mouth or blood?

When I saw that Heath Ledger was in this movie as Joker I was like “seriously?” the guy who was in “10 things I hate about you”

But then I saw the trailer.

Oh god, this movie’s going to be AWESOME!

And I was right.

Joker was the perfect mixture of funny and murder.

He was all I wanted from him and maybe even any villan.

There are some times in this movie where I laughed because of him.

I bought the movie and one day and I went to every part in the movie with Joker in it because he’s that entertaining and makes the movie that much better.

And his makeup is one of the best I’ve seen.

I could talk all post about him but I have to go on with the other things in the movie.

In the first movie Katie Holmes plays Rachel in the second Maggie Gylenhaal plays Rachel.

I always hate when they do that.

I personally think that Katie Holmes is better.

Not only because I think she did Rachels character better but also because her lines are much better.

Then there’s Two-Face, and his makeup looks even better then the Jokers!

I’m not talking Tommy Lee Jones makeup; I’m talking real makeup!

Two-Face is seriously evil in this movie.

He flips a coin to see if you die or live, he’s all chance!

The only thing I wanted more from him was to see him more.

But seriously, I’d rather run into Joker then him.

The lines in this movie are really brilliant.

They’re really smart and make the movie much better.

It’s a movie if you see again and again and again you still won’t get bored of.

The movie is really brilliant and I think that everyone that can see a movie with a crazy clown and a derranged half face freak then you have to see this one.

Score=9.5

Movie Review: Batman Begins

The beginning of the Dark Knight Trilogy, why is the first movie called Batman Begins again?

Rating: PG-13

Time:140 min

Stars: Christan Bale, Cillian Murphy

SPOILER ALERT! It takes a whole movie for Batman to get rid of Scarecrow.

It the Dark Knight it takes him 5 minutes.

END OF SPOILER!

When I saw this movie I didn’t really even know who Scarecrow was, and by the end he was my favorite villain.

Even though it looks like to me he is the easiest weakest villain Batman has probably ever fought.

His move is that he gases you with a drug and ruins your life forever.

But who I really think is the bad guy is Liam Neeson.

It starts off with Batman as a child.

And that really starts the whole story.

Then it goes on to become more.

The action scenes are good because it’s the start of Batman and no one really knows who he is.

The movie can get a little confusing at times but if you really pay attention then you won’t get confused.

Then there’s Rachel played by Katie Holmes.

I like Katie Holmes and I liked her in this movie.

I thought the scenery was cool and I thought that Arkahm was AWESOME!

The movie can get a little boring but that didn’t bother me enough to change my opinion on the movie.

I would recommend it to anyone who’s allowed to see a PG-13 action movie.

See this movie it’s not one you want to miss.

Score=8.5