Movie Review: Pain & Gain

To tell you the truth I was actually excited to see this movie.
But I shouldn't have been.
I was excited to see Mark Wahlberg and even more Tony Shalhoub.
But I guess I never learned.
NO MATTER HOW AWESOME THE ACTORS ARE, DON'T EVER TRUST MICHAEL BAY!
He's basically the devil of movies.

Rating: R
Time: 129 min
Director: Michael Bay
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Tony Shalhoub

Now you know what's awesome?
When you watch this show and you really enjoy it!
Like one of your favorites!
But unfortunately the person you like most in the show is never getting any other acting roles but that show.
Well finally he got a role!
I've seen every single episode of the tv series Monk and LOVED IT!!
And I couldn't wait to see him actually be the bad guy in a movie!
A really paranoid nice detective to a mean old grumpy cursing guy who gets tortured!
WHAT FUN!
And for Mark Wahlberg, I love Mark Wahlberg.
He's in a million roles but I just like him a lot!
BUT MICHAEL BAY!!!
THAT GUY SUCKS!!
Also in this movie is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
I hate him, but the truth is that he's been in a million roles this year.
And he is getting better.
But he's still bad as well.
Also Anthony Mackie.
I don't know much about him.
But anyways let's start the review!
AND REMEMBER!
THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
So the plot in this film is that there's this guy who hates where his life is going and wants more.
So him, The Rock, Mackie kidnap and torture Shalhoub for his money and valuables.
So what was good in this movie.
Ed Helms was in this movie.
Ed Helms was the best thing to me in this movie.
Tony Shalhoub was in there too but he was only mediocre.
NOT THAT GREAT.
The action in moments was good.
But also, NOT THAT GREAT.
Oh and then there's the movie in all.
NOT THAT GREAT.
But let's get to what was bad in the movie.
First of all this is a true story.
So think of that while I'll tell you this.
Who is the bad guy here, the three guys who kidnap, torture and kill or the people who get kidnapped, tortured and killed.
All this proves that Michael Bay is a terrible person.
Michael bay made the movie as if you are routing for the bad guys.
BUT EVEN WORSE, THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!
You don't care about the characters.
You don't care when they pain and you most definitely don't care when they gain.
And you know what, not only do you not care about the characters, you hate them!
The good guys are terrible people and so are the bad guys!
Also the plot in this movie was terrible!
It was confusing and mixed up and had no idea what it was doing.
The humor was bad and unfunny.
It also had very bad timing.
The movie was too long for itself and should've only been an hour and a half, not two.
But all in all the movie was super unenjoyable and dumb.
I hated it!
I HATED IT!
IT SUCKED!!!
I HATED IT!
Don't see this movie.
Even an idiot is smart enough to realize how bad this movie was.
Score=2.5